Lylah M. Alphonse’s Blog

I went in to work crazy-early yesterday, so that I could leave crazy-early and meet up with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in far too long. A coworker stopped by my desk as I was packing up, and so I explained what was going on. She gasped. "You're... actually doing something FOR YOURSELF?"

I immediately felt a little guilty. And sheepish. Until I looked her in the eye and saw that she was actually cheering me on. Read More »

The other night, I was faced with a kitchen-full of dirty dishes. And pots. And pans. At midnight.

I was already tired. I had been up late working, and I'd gotten up early, too, thanks to my 2 1/2-year-old alarm clock of a son who wakes at 5:30 a.m. (and who obviously didn't read my post about how I prefer to stay up late rather than get up early). But the kitchen was a wreck, it's hot and humid outside and, as such, bug season, and call me crazy, but I cannot stand having anything with more than two legs in the kitchen, and that includes the dog. Read More »

I try to watch what my kids watch, which means that the commercials I sit through are geared mostly either to kids (Toys! Games! Candy!) or to moms (Body wash! Convenience foods! Cleaning products!). Or, I should say, "moms," because really, a commercial pitched to directly me, and most of the working moms I know, would involve wine and sleep.

The commercials for cleaning products bug me the most, because they just seem completely unrealistic. I mean, really -- who takes time away from their work-life juggle to wipe down an already pristine living room? I'm looking at you, makers of a certain multi-surface cleaner, the commercial for which caught my eye the other morning. A woman, in a glass cage filled with already-clean kitchen appliances and cabinets, quips that she doesn't have time to clean because she has to go pick up her kids, but is able to wipe up a few smudges and smears without having to use several different cleaners. After she's done, the place looks exactly the same, but she looks tired and relieved.

I don't know about you, but my housework workload would not be significantly reduced by not having to switch cleaning products while dusting my bookshelves. Read More »

We've all heard about Murphy's Law (whatever can go wrong, will). And the Law of Averages (everything evens out in the end). And Newton's Third Law of Motion (every action has an equal and opposite reaction).

Well, The Laws of Working Moms incorporate a little bit of each -- and then some. To wit:

1.) If you have an early meeting, or if the children need to be at school early for a field trip or other event, someone will be up at least twice during the night -- which means you will be, too.

2.) The toddler will sneeze mightily in your face the day before he comes down with a ferocious cold.

3.) Your kids' school or daycare will shut down due to Swine Flu the week after your kids have been out sick with a cold. (Corollary: Your kids will not have the H1N1/Swine Flu virus.) Read More »

I started clipping coupons when I was a dirt-poor college student, having to decide whether to spend an extra 60 cents on a couple of packages of Ramen noodles or use that money for bus fare to get to work. (Sounds terribly dramatic, but it's true. It was Syracuse, N.Y., and it was worth going without dinner in order to avoid a three-mile walk home in the snow at night). Back then, the quarters I scraped together went a long way -- a couple of coupons could yield savings equal to the amount needed to wash a load of laundry -- and so the sorting and clipping was definitely worth my time.

I still clip coupons, but now it's more an exercise in frugality, as well as a challenge to see how little I can pay for the things I usually buy anyway. Every once in a while I hit a jackpot -- a buy-one-get-one free item for which I have coupons, for instance -- and I find myself wondering: What if I did this all the time? Can you really save that much money with coupons?
 
Kathy Spencer says yes. And she can help teach you how.

The Boxford, Massachusetts mom spends less than $10 a week to feed her family of six -- plus several pets.

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I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly about my career. I started working as a journalist when I was 16 -- I mean working for pay, as opposed to on the school paper or something -- and I pursued my career goals with a single-mindedness that surprises me today, in retrospect.

I didn't really have a mentor, 15 or 20 years ago. I could have used one -- as a  young woman, as a woman of color, as a journalist, as a professional. I could have used a primer on office politics (who couldn't?), some guidance on setting goals, a reminder that work-life balance is important even when the only think on the "life" side of the equation is yourself.

Here's some advice -- career or otherwise -- I wish I could tell my younger self:

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One of the more demoralizing aspects of the economic downturn is feeling like, even if you haven't been laid off or had your salary slashed, you're probably pretty expendable. So the impact negative criticism can have on your job performance -- and your ego -- is often magnified. Small slights carry more weight, and a poor performance review can seem insurmountable.

But it's important to learn from criticism, even the negative kind. Granted, some things -- like office gossip, for example -- are detrimental no matter how you dice it. But, for the most part, there are ways to glean the positive out of the negative. These tips work whether the person on your case is your boss, your co-worker, or even your teenager (yes, it's true: Parenting takes people skills). Read More »