Transitions are inevitable. Sometimes, the prospect of
making a transition is exciting, but more often, it can be
scary.
How do you handle transitions, especially when you feel you are
being forced into making a change? Like when you are being
forced out of your home because you cannot pay the mortgage, or
pushed out of your job because there is no money to pay you.
Your partner wants to end the relationship, or your body is aging
before you are ready.
Change is often scary because of the associate uncertainty.
Wherever you are now, even though you might be miserable, you can
at least trust that it will stay miserable. The whole point
of being in transition is that you do not know where you stand in
the moment and where you will stand in the future. So fear
sets in.
Your brain is always asking this question at any given moment anyway--will I be enough or have enough? Sometimes the answer is "yes", and often the answer is "no." When you brain falls into the "not enough" perception mode, it's called 'stress." When your brain perceives that you are in stress it triggers the stress response, which sets off a series of biochemical and physiological changes like causing your heart to race, you blood pressure to go up, your negative emotions to take over and your mind to shut down (to name a few).
If the perception of stress goes on for too long, eventually the mind will shut down more, the body will break down, negative emotions will take over, destructive actions and behaviors take the reigns, and you might find yourself more miserable and alone. Fear begets more fear.
Loss and change cannot be prevented in life. It would be
nice if we could prepare for them or predict the future. The
reality is that the future is uncertain and that anything can
happen, positive or negative. The reality is that you can
control your own physiology so that you don't stay in fear, but
find your balance, stay level-headed and keep yourself open to the
positive possibilities the transition may offer
you.
When you shift your physiology out of fear, you can move into
positive expectancy or the belief is that anything is possible.
Your perception changes so that you see the transition as an
adventure, rather than a curse.
Here are some tips shift your physiology:
1. Allow yourself to feel fear, anger or whatever negative emotion you feel--you have every right to feel this way.
2. Connect with others: reach out to friends or other loved ones or a therapist or counselor and ask them for help. Tell them you don't want advice, but just to be held; to have a space held for you so that you can rest and heal.
3. Connect with your beautiful
self: do something loving for yourself because
you deserve it--massage, retreat, etc. I call these
"love me gifts"
Read more strategies by Dr. Eva Selhub on Intent.com here
About the Author
Eva M. Selhub, M.D., is the senior staff physician at the Benson Henry Institute for Mind/Body Medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital. An integrative health specialist and the founder of Alight Medicine for Learning and Healing in Newton Massachusetts, she is also a clinical instructor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Selhub has lectured throughout the United States and Europe and has trained healthcare professionals from all over the world. She has been published in medical journals and featured in national publications including The New York Times, USA Today, Self, Shape, Fitness, and Journal of Woman's Health, and has appeared on radio and television in connection with her work.
Read more articles from Dr. Eva Selhub on Intent.com
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