Baby, Baby

(Argh! Its been so insane here)

Whew! Glad I finally get a break. For the past few days my mom and I have been watching Bridgett and Billie while my sister takes care of Bailey without any screaming at her place. Honestly its been a little hectic here. And I've been contemptating whether or not I should ever have children.

Bridgett is two and a half and is very cute but very loud and very spoiled. She also a smart girl. Although she can't read she knows her letters and says then when she sees them. She spends most of her time here running back and forth or asking all of us where everyone is. She can pronounce my name yet she calls me "Goo-rah" which everyone else just loves. Bridge is also helpful at times when it comes to her younger sister, Billie.

Billie is fourteen months and a little different than Bridge. Billie is a lot easier to take care of for one thing. You give her a bottle and put her down and she goes to bed. Put on Barney or the Backyardigians and she'll just sit and watch. She squirms less than her big sis, and she is usually quiet. But since she is younger she does tend to get into things that could hurt her or make a mess. She can say her, although it sounds like "willwee", and "mama" and "daddy".

Here's the thing about me and kids. I sort of like them, sort of hate them. Well it depends on the kids I guess. I can not stand my cousin, Amber's, kids. All boys and all annoying. The two older ones make fun of their baby brother because once he tried on his mother's shoes and took her purse and pretended to be her. They are going to be baseball players and they absolutely hate me because I once said baseball was silly. It was like I told them the darkest blasphemy. I like my nieces because I see them more than the other b------ s.

I don't know, there are times where I love them to death and times where I want to smack them so hard. Like today I took care of them because Mom was reeling from the fact that grandmother (her mom) was finally shutting down. She's been in hospus for a little over a year now and now she's looking like she might die soon. Thanks to hospus care most of us have gotten over our grieving...well...except Mom. Anyway with Mom trying to hold her tears back I had to feed the girls and then give them a bath.

Dinner was hell. Bridge's parents let her eat some of her dinner, walk around for a while and then eat some more. Keeping her in one place was a bit tough. But after some stronger tones she was finally sitting still and eating her food. Billie would pick at her food and then toss it on the floor barely eating. I had to feed her by hand but at least she ate.

Bath time was so much easier. Billie was first and she was loving the water. This was one of the good times. She was laughing and fun and at the same time letting me wash her. Bridge was tougher. She jumped around in the tub and splashed everything. This wasn't one of the good times. Afterwards, I sat the girls down and we watch some kids show. I relished in the quiet. It was just so nice to have them sit still.

I'm not sure if I'm ever going to have kids. I'm mostly worried that I'm going to be like my dad and neglect them or make them hate me. Or since I'm already a mental nutcase I'm pretty sure I would make them into mental nutcases. But who knows...maybe in the end I'll have kids. Hopefully at three to five years apart.

Well its time for me to put them to bed.

Singing my girls to sleep,

Icarus