Thursday, November 26, 2009

Ive been broken again and again!

I dont understand why the moment i started high school...my whole life changed!?!?!?! Every since that very first day of 9th grade my happy perky self has burried deep inside of me and is sooo afraid to ever come out and STAY out!!! I been hurt over and over again. By guys, friends, and ive even hurt myself a few times (not physically). Whenever things seem to be going ok...they just get bad again. First of all... my bestest friend totally dropped me just because two of our guy friends were mad at me. This was the end of freshmen year and thats when i litterally broke! I went into a depression. I just couldnt handle the pain! I get close with someone and i put my ALL into the relationship/friendship but i never get it in return. People dont see how much things hurt me more then they ever even know. I couldnt handle losing so many friends and my very best friend. Now things are just messed up. I dont have a best friend. I dont have someone to be here for me so i can talk about anything and everything with. Things in my personal life take a big effect on my school life. I know i shouldnt let that happen but i just cant stop it. soo when things go bad at home or with friends i just cant focus on any school work and i think u can guess what the negative effect of that is. F! yep i start failing tests and just not giving a crap about anything. Soo im trying soooo hard to change and improve but i feel like i have no one. im afraid im gonna end up along. No friends, no boyfriend/husband, and as more and more of my family members pass away,im afraid im gonna be left with no family either. No matter how much i try to stay positive there is always something to remind me of the bad things that just wont go away! I feel like i need to see a therapis but my mother feels that im just being a drama queen but she honestly doesnt know how i feel!!!!! She doesnt understand me...like most other people. I guess. I dont wanna be like this. I dont wanna feel like this! PLEASE STOP BREAKING MEE!!!!!!

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Comments 1-8 of 8
  • MsBeefromDaDee1's Avatar
    Posted by MsBeefromDaDee1 Tue Nov 3, 2009 2:46pm PST

    Pray....and always, always, always hold ur head high you've done nothing wrong. This is only a phase ur going through and before long, all ur so-called friends will be longing 4 ur friendship again....it's up 2 u whether or not 2 accept them.

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  • puma's Avatar
    Posted by puma Tue Nov 3, 2009 2:51pm PST

    yea i kno how u fel pple r jst fukin ass holes!!!!! sory 2 hear bout wuts goin on wit u tho hun...

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  • hadyat  _ebrahemi0 e's Avatar
    Posted by hadyat _ebrahemi0 e Tue Nov 3, 2009 8:27pm PST

    heLLO good morning have anice today ok

    for you health have nice good fine body ok

    Report Abuse
  • SaraM's Avatar
    Posted by SaraM Tue Nov 3, 2009 9:40pm PST

    first of all you are your best friend second of all you dont have to depend on other people. third of all lie is how you want to see it if life seems hard for you then you're life will be hard.....yeah high school is difficult because you're not a kid any more and you have to start loving you and remember people look at you as you see your self

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  • Deanna's Avatar
    Posted by Deanna Wed Nov 4, 2009 12:53am PST

    I now what your going throw you have to just remember people are like assholez everonez got one lolz just love your slef just 2 let you now i dont like high school 2

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  • GET ON MY LEVEL's Avatar
    Posted by GET ON MY LEVEL Wed Nov 4, 2009 5:16pm PST

    HELLO,

    IVE BEEN THERE TO. THE BAD THING IT HURTS LIKE HELL TO REALIZE MUTH f--- ERS DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU, BUT THE GOOD THING IS THRU ALL OF YOUR TRAILS YOU WILL GET STRONGER AND LEARN TO DEPEND ON GOD AND YOURSELF. THE SAME PEOPLE THAT TRIED TO BREAK YOU WILL LOOK AT YOU IN THE FUTURE AND WONDER IF YOU ARE THE SAME GYRL AND YOU WILL BE BUT YOU WILL BE A WOMEN THAT KNOWS WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO THROW THE TOWEL IN. U'LL C .

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  • THE JIMBO KING's Avatar
    Posted by THE JIMBO KING Wed Nov 4, 2009 7:26pm PST

    Have you ever considered ending your life?

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  • Lex's Avatar
    Posted by Lex Fri Nov 6, 2009 12:51pm PST

    I have thought about it but nothing in my life is really THAT bad that its worth ending my life over.

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Comments 1-8 of 8

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