Questioning Reality

So, its been an alright trip back home...not the best but tolerable enough.

I took the nice long hour and a half drive home through rain and storm. By the time I see the city limits of my home town its nice and sunny. I find my mom on the couch looking like she's been through another one of her headaches. She screams my name in a happy voice and hugs me. I have missed her so much. So I go through my day to day (despite the fact that I've called her everyday since I've been there). She orders pizza and I go get it. I come back to find my evil brother the Prince Perry. I know I've always called him this since I was a child but its just so appropriate now. He lords over the house as if its his castle. He wakes up at noon, eats and then usually goes back to bed before its time for him to party with his friends. Sure he has a class every now and then but this is his most common routine. I help Mom with the laundry and dishes just as I would have before the move. It felt very normal.  Sleeping in my bed again was very strange though. I can't believe it, but I missed the metal bars of Bobby's bed above my face. Though I didn't miss hitting my head on them three times a night.

The next morning I go out with Mom and Pam to pick up some more stuff for my dorm. We also picked up movies and groceries for the house. We get home and Mom wants to watch a movie. I put in Duplicity but honestly I want to watch PUSH or Coraline. But I figure I haven't been around in a while and it'll be nice for her because she's been so lonely. Perry walks in from his room and sits down. I shift into defense mode ready to block any attack that comes from his annoying self. We get ten minutes in and he gets up and goes to his room. He's in there for five minutes so I clean up his sitting area and help Mom with dinner. He, of course, freaks out because I should have known that he was coming back. I am thankful that I had a date with Hayden or else I probably would have killed him.

So we ranted about our lives. It was the same old dance that we always do but its always fun. We speak our own language that only we understand. Its so good. We just talk about the first week of being apart from friends and old teachers and making new friends and how stupid professors are etc. I missed her so much, and I miss her now. After dropping her off I gave my usual side hug but then she hugged me back. Squeezed me so hard. She missed me too. And as I walk away I feel a small ember of love for her again. I don't want to feel it though as sad as that is. I love her but I want to love someone else. I believe that we will always have this amazing closeness with each other that we'll never have with anyone else...but I don't think we'll ever be together. And who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe when we're done with school we'll end up together. I don't know. That future is always murky and honestly I can't wait for her. But maybe I'll find her.

So as today starts I feel like I never left. Like all last week was a dream, a hallucination. Did I really have a roommate named Bobby and a cool suite mate named Dustin and a person that I hated for no real reason but I just did named North? Did I really have a friend named Prince K, Rob Zombie Jr? Did a guy named Duck really seemed like my alternate self only taller? I ponder and ponder and it had to have been true. I have to go back in a hour or so and I just wonder will I forget home? Will Ponyville just seem like a good dream everytime I leave?

I'm sorry for the trippy post, imaginary peanut gallery. That's all for the moment.

Getting ready to go back to the dream,

Icarus