Parenting

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Crying It Out: Is there evidence that letting your baby cry causes long-term damage?




Ignoring baby cries during sleep training is linked to all kinds of problems later in life — ADHD, antisocial behavior, lower IQ. At the root of these claims is the idea that the stress of crying and the absence of a responsive parent release intense levels of chemicals that alter a child's brain development. But is there scientific evidence to back this up?

It needs to be said from the outset that this is not a pro- or anti-cry it out article. How you approach sleep is as personal and complex as any aspect of parenting. And, rightly so, many moms and dads use their instinct as their guide. The intent of this article is to examine the scientific evidence that sleep training (the kind that involves a distinct period of crying to sleep) causes long-term brain damage — a very serious claim that should not be tossed around lightly.

The work of big name researchers and clinicians comes hand-in-hand with the anti-cry it out stance. For example, UCLA researcher Dr. Allan Schore is often cited as showing that stress hormones like cortisol, released during intense crying, damage nerve cells in the brain, leading to unhealthy attachments and psychological disorders. He demonstrates that a repeated pattern of unmet needs disrupts a child's stress-regulating systems and can alter the way her limbic structures process emotion.

But Schore's research is actually about how trauma, chronic neglect, or abuse affects a small person. No doubt, if ignoring distress were your every day parenting philosophy this would apply, but sleep training against the background of caring, responsive parenting, does not. In fact, this is the case with a lot of sources opposing the cry it out method — the claims of brain, personality, and attachment damage come from research conducted with grossly neglected children (some studies use data from Child Protective Services cases) not healthy children with loving parents who let them cry for an isolated timeframe.

Another well-respected source that makes the rounds on the Internet is a list of studies put together by Dr. Sears that conclude crying it out is dangerous. There are too many to explain each here, but for example, one states that infants who cry excessively have a higher incidence of ADHD, antisocial behavior, and poor school performance. When you look at the original study, though, the crying clearly has nothing to do with sleep training.

The study shows that extra fussiness and subsequent crying (regardless of what parents do in response) might be a symptom of an underlying problem that could come up later in life. Sears quoted another study as showing that crying early on makes a child fussy and emotionally unbalanced. Again, the actual study says that babies who already cry a lot might be showing early signs that they are slower to develop emotional control. None of the Sears studies listed shows negative consequences as a result of a structured sleep training program.

To read the rest of the article, go to babble.
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Comments 1-10 of 24
  • Kendra's Avatar
    Posted by Kendra Sun Nov 1, 2009 7:27pm PST

    So untrue.

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  • New England Babe's Avatar
    Posted by New England Babe Sun Nov 1, 2009 10:23pm PST

    You half to let them cry is an old wives tale. There was a study just a couple of years ago that proved that allowing a baby to cry trained their body to reach a state of higher blood pressure and anxiety faster than babies who were soothed. They only cry for a reason. My neice is very high strung and has anxiety and her mother used to let her cry all the time. Mom wanted a shower, baby cried, Mom wanted a drink, baby cried. That girl is proof of what can happen when a baby is left to cry. She was 15 before she could be home for an hour by herself without a panic attack.

    I never let my babies cry and they are great well adjusted kids. Their doctor told me they cry for a reason, find the problem and the crying stops. They never cried for more than a minute or two.

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  • chrissyr's Avatar
    Posted by chrissyr Mon Nov 2, 2009 5:41am PST

    babies who cry it out generally do not cry for more than 10-15 minutes. and once they learn to self soothe it stops.

    i have 3 kids. the first two did not cry it out. i went and got them every time they cried. they often ended up in my bed or we slept on the couch. it caused stress between their father and i. and i got a lot less sleep which stressed me out. by teaching my youngest to self soothe i gave her the gift of a more relaxed parents. she is also much less timid than my two oldest kids are. she is not afraid to get out there and explore or climb to the top of the jungle gym (much to my discontent sometimes).

    of course, crying it out is not appropriate for very young babies. they need to eat, be changed and get some comfort. but once they can go 4-5 hours between feedings than i see no problem with lovingly teaching them to sleep by themselves in their own crib.

    my youngest lays down every night on her own, sleeps all night and wakes rested and ready for the day. my older two, by comparison, woke more often and "needed" me more at night.

    based on my experiences i would extoll the virtues of crying it out to any future parent.

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  • E. Boost's Avatar
    Posted by E. Boost Mon Nov 2, 2009 6:19am PST

    I actually learned in my Child Developmental class last year that letting a baby cry for a long time is not so good. It makes the child feel insecure and unprotected, after all the baby is crying for a reason. It also makes the chid build an insecure attachment to their parents, meaning that they are never sure whether their parents will or won't come to them. However, all of my friends who are already moms always let their kids cry at least a little. My friend's sister just had her baby around 5 months ago and she says she lets her baby cry because it helps with the lung development. Most just let the kids cry so that they don't depend on crying as a way to get attention. Whether or not this is true, it's obvious that everyone has their own ideas.

    I also recently read an article that says parents who have 1-3 kids already know how to distinguish a cry. There are 3 types of cries; pain, emotional (angry) and basic (basic crying actually soothes the baby and makes them go to sleep). Most experienced parents already know when the cry is painful, or emotional, or even hunger. A large percent of parents said that they ignore their child's basic cry because it's just "something babies do".

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  • Mo B's Avatar
    Posted by Mo B Mon Nov 2, 2009 6:27am PST

    I let my daughter cry it out, only way I could get her to sleep. She would cry for about 10 minutes and would then sooth herself and fall asleep. If I tried to sooth her we would be up all night. She is a very adjusted, happy and smart kid. I agree with this article in that all those negatives for letting kids cry are for neglected kids not kids who are left to cry for short amounts of time.

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  • kerryt's Avatar
    Posted by kerryt Mon Nov 2, 2009 7:14am PST

    My daughter hardly ever cried...i was a lucky one lol! She slept most of the nite and didnt wake up til morning...it was great! But when she did cry it was because she needed something and i was always around the corner to bring her whatever she needed! Now she is 3 and she is VERY attatched to me...she has seperation anxity and IDK what to do? Its only with female persons either my mother or me! Shes fine leaving my husband and her grandfather but momma and nana is a different story! Ive always wondered if it was because we didnt let her cry we are always there when she needs something! Any Suggestions on what to do?

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  • Cat's Avatar
    Posted by Cat Mon Nov 2, 2009 7:24am PST

    I'm an older parent of three. We were advised by our docotr to let our first child cry it out after we had checked to make sure all was alright. We were first time parents and took his advice. I hated it! It went against my grain to hear my baby cry and cry and it went on not for 10-15 min but on and off for hrs! We would sit in our bedroom holding each other crying ourselves. After two nights I was ready to call it quits, but my daughter stopped and was able to sleep through the night. Even so I swore never again. We rarely let our next two babies cry longer than 10 - 15 min and they ended up coming into our beds almost every night till they hit 3-4 years old! My oldest is the most outgoing of my three and was the best in school, but she has always hated being alone. My middle child suffered from sever separation anxiety till she was 7. My youngest seems very content, not anxious, gets good grades and isn't shy.

    I think people start out with a basic pattern for their behavior and mood and how they are raised and what experiences they go through can encourage and discourage certain behaviors and moods. One thing is certain, I could never again let a baby cry it out if it continued for a long time.

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  • Minnie's Avatar
    Posted by Minnie Mon Nov 2, 2009 8:48am PST

    I don't believe in cry-it-out personally. If 10 or 15 minutes of fussing is all it is that's one thing, but there are many cases where babies are left to cry for an hour or even many hours before they finally stop. I do believe that leaving baby to cry for more than a few minutes is harmful, even if during the day the parent is responsive and caring. At some point the baby will be so worked up from crying so much they don't have a hope of calming themselves down to go to sleep.

    The article did refer to an "isolated timeframe" but never specified what that was. 10-15 minutes could be considered isolated, but is an hour or two or three or even the entire night isolated? At what point do we go from an isolated timeframe to unreasonable bordering on just plain mean?

    That said I don't believe that infants have the ability to calm themselves down, I believe they just give up or tire themselves out. I believe that calming down is a skill that should be taught to infants and not forced on them.

    To be fair I co-sleep, nurse and baby wear. I follow Dr. Sears attachment parenting theory closely until baby becomes a toddler (somewhere around 2 years old). After that I switch to what would probably be considered a more traditional parenting method, minus the spanking. I now have an extremely well behaved little 6 year old girl and one on the way. Because of the success I had with my daughter I intend to do the same thing again with a few very minor changes to correct some problems I had the first time around.

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  • starfedra's Avatar
    Posted by starfedra Mon Nov 2, 2009 9:20am PST

    The only time I let my youngest "cry it out" he cried so hard he passed out and I could not make him wake up, I mean he stopped breathing for a few seconds, so there I was feeling like the worst mother ever on our way to the ER, so I don't think it's a good idea to let them cry until they stop, those days of them being babies seem so long when you are in the moment but they go so fast, my youngest is now almost 3 and a very good sleeper, so patience and more patience.

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  • ^v^ Prsclla ^v^'s Avatar
    Posted by ^v^ Prsclla ^v^ Mon Nov 2, 2009 10:17am PST

    well if they dont stop crying for a while then go to them. sometimes babies are smart and just fake cry cuz they get spoiled like. idc though when my little sis cries i go to her she just wants someone there anyways.

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