Though there’s no universal guide, Rosemary Rogers, a three-time stepmother, put together this pretty sound list of things a stepmom should never say…assuming she wants a relationship with her step kids. Though I’m not sure the title “three-time step mother” engenders a great deal of confidence in her step mothering success, the list itself, at least from my step child perspective, is spot on.
1. "Go ahead, call me Mom!"
You're not their mother, and you never will be. They're conflicted enough, and pushing them to use a mom-name will only confuse them more.
Corollary: "We're going to be one big, happy family!"
6. "Did your mother bring you up to do that?"
Never bad-mouth the ex -- and your husband (or partner) shouldn't either, even if the fur is still flying. Studies show that it's the ongoing conflict after divorce that hurts kids the most.
Corollary: "How could you have married such an idiot?"
