Today was the last day for me on my journey, first day on a wonderful journey for her.

Once again it is that time of year. Time for books, backpacks, pencils and more. And for teachers and school buses.

But for me, this year has a twist in it.

This school year, I am sending my last child off for the first time on her own.

Tinkerbell is starting Pre-Kindergarten tomorrow. She will get to ride the "big" bus with Speed Racer and Pixie Girl.

 Was I nervous, being that this IS the third time around this block for me? You bet I was! And kind of depressed and sad.

This is the very last time that I get to see my child go off on his or her own as an independent, unique and diverse individual. My littlest one is about to embark on an incredible journey. She is growing up, along with her siblings and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Or to stop time for even just a moment.

As of this morning, she will literally be her own person. Growing. Making new friendships. Learning things that she needs to forge her own way in this world.

I'm so proud to be a part of it. With all three of my children. They are all blossoming in to great people. I can only hope that what they are learning between school, home and out in other parts of society that is positive will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Now, this Stay At Home Mother will have no one to care for during a large portion of her day. No one to keep an eye on, make lunches for, play with or change the TV channel for.

 I will need to find things to do. To keep my mind occupied.

Sure, now I can read a book without interruption. Or watch Daytime Television. Eat without being asked to make something for someone (after I asked a gazillion times).

All of this impending freedom is coming....With a hefty price. On my heart. On my mind. And down deep in my soul.

Yes, I was like all of you first timer's out there, getting ready to send off your child to school for the first time. I was outside, trying my best to keep it together as we waited on that bus to arrive. I was smiling and "giddy" about her leaving for her very first day at school.

But as soon as that bus left out of sight, you can bet that I was standing there in silence. With tears streaming down my face, wondering where the time had sped off to.

Then I went inside my empty house, where silence had taken over and cried a small river.

But I am going to be proud in knowing that for the few years that *I* had her, I had done my best and that thanks to my hard work and dedication, all three of my children are growing up to be who they are with good morals, characters and values.

I have since learned, that while it is hard to let any of your children go off in to the world on their own, no matter how many you have raised, it is always hardest to let go of the oldest and the youngest.

**Yes, there were tears shed as this journal was taking shape.**