Can You Be In A Serious Relationship If You Still Live With Your Parents?

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  Posted by Amanda Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:16am PDT

  I am in a relationship and I live at home. It does add a little strain on the sexual aspect of our relationship. My parent's don't agree with "sleepovers" so we don't get that very often. However I am moving into my own place this weekend so that is about to change!

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  Posted by None Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:31pm PDT

  PATHETIC, I have my own house at 24 years old, all the rest of you moochers are not responsible and very immature, while other countries live with families together cuz of their culture, they actually HELP their parents with rent, chores, etc, not just sit at home and have the dumb ass mother cooking and yes, cleaning, laundry and even giving allowances to overgrown children, PARENTS demand respect, kick the moocher out so they'll have to be forced to grow up, and for those who have sex at parent's house the most disrespectful thing you can do! My mom would whoop my ass with a belt at this age if I had ever done that s---, none of you grew up with morals or respect because parents just want to be friends, so pathetic. I had a friend who would let her throw underage drinking parties in their basement and let her overgrown daughter have her f--- buddies over.

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  Posted by None Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:02pm PDT

  It always seems to be the rich people who let their kids control their lives, I am glad I had to work hard for everything I got cuz it taught me tons about the real world. Thanks Mom!

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  Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:03pm PDT

  I don't know about this. I am 26, and if I were still out there dating, I would really have a tough time dating a guy who still lives with his mom.

  All of the worried outlined in the post would apply, especially the question of what he would expect out of me if and when we got married.

  However, what would worry me most of all would be what that lifestyle says about his character. Is he a dependent kind of guy, one who cannot bear to be alone for a while? A lot of people choose to live with roommates even though they can afford their own place because they dislike having to entertain themselves or be alone with their thoughts. I could not spend my life with a man like that.

  A related concern is about his relationship with his parents: is he someone who will always depend on one or both parents' opinion? Will he always consult them before making a decision? Will he value their opinion over mine? Because that does not make for a very healthy marriage.

  Or is he someone who does not have much in the way of aspirations? Is he perfectly content to just accept whatever life is handed to him? For instance, his parents chose a neighborhood to raise him in; they chose a house; they chose a manner of living; they continue to choose the wallpaper and what's for dinner. Is he the kind of man who is okay with letting others make all his decisions for him? Does he accept that which is good enough for others, without fully considering what is good for himself?

  Finally, I believe that having one's own space is an important stage in life. I do not beleive that one can be the complete person one should present to one's spouse without having had a period of life in which one could and must make all the decisions. How can you really know your own preferences if you have never been in a position to explore them?

  These are all only my opinion. Others may disagree. But I do know that when I was single, I never gave a guy living with his parents a second date. EVER. It just isn't the kind of man I was interested in.

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  Posted by In love Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:07pm PDT

  Not all of us who still live with our parents are PATHETIC!! I am a college graduate who still lives with her parents because they need my help. I pay more than my fair share of rent and gladly help with chores. Times are very tough right now and they simply could not make it on their own. I am also in a serious relationship. My boyfriend actually encourages me to stay home until we get married someday. He encourages me to help my parents out through this hard time and try to pay some of my own student loan debt down while I can. I resent the comments made by "None". I have never once had sex in my parents house. I don't know if you know this but just because you are in a serious relationship does not mean you have to have sex everytime you see each other!! I am not lazy, they do not do my laundry, they do not give me an allowence, and they get plenty of respect. You should think before you judge!!!

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  Posted by NIKNICE Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:30pm PDT

  To say that someone is pathetic is harsh and rude. These days the cost of living is so high (especially in NYC) that I almost want to go back home and contribute to a unit. In a relationship I can see the strain. However, I meet few men these days that live on their own. I'm 26 and I moved out at 25. I'm a college grad struggling to make a decent salary but what about the rest of the world? COL is too expensive so folks may want to shack up at the good ol' Holiday Inn lol.

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  Posted by Katie B Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:42pm PDT

  My brother seems to be doing well with the situation... and he still lives at my parents house because when he started his job he got paid crap wages and had just enough debt he couldn't move (because he had to buy a vehicle to get to and from work) and he is still in that situation, but he is working on it... My brother is not some pathetic moocher and nor is he a lazy bum... it's just how his circumstances turned out and he is trying to change them.

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  Posted by Halle Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:48pm PDT

  I hear ya NikNice I'm a New Yorker too. It's rought out here.

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  Posted by shameful_gop Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:50pm PDT

  It would seem that None has a little case of class envy... Sorry you had it so tough, guy.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:52pm PDT

  Since this article did not refer to college kids or kids who are supporting their folks (such as "in love") then if you choose to date a man or woman who refuses to grow up and stop taking advantage of their folks, then you have nothing to complain about.

  What I think is pathetic is when parents take on the responsibility of raising their grand babies when their own kids are perfectly capable of doing it, but choose not to because mom and dad will. If you are going to bring a child into this world you have to be prepared to be 100 percent responsible for it, or you have no business having it.

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