They may mean well, but there are times when you should ignore your girlfriends’ dating advice
- Kaneisha Grayson, BettyConfidential.com
We women love to talk through our problems and dish out advice. We’re there for each other during good times and bad, and it makes perfect sense that we would look to our girlfriends for help and guidance in our dating lives. However, it’s important to beware of times when your girlfriends’ advice is exactly what you want to avoid. Read the descriptions below and see if you’ve been listening to dating advice from the exact wrong sources:
1. The chronically single girlfriend
All singles are not created equal. Some women are single because
they choose to be single or they have yet to meet the
right person. These friends often provide great advice, because
they help you not be a desperate dater. Then there are the other
singles — the women who really want to be in a
relationship but just can’t seem to keep a man. Beware the advice
of these girlfriends or you may end up just like them — single and
wondering why.
Read: You Know You're On a Bad Date When ...
2. The rationalizer girlfriend
We all have that girlfriend that will always tell us just what we
want to hear when it comes to dating. If he breaks up with you,
she’s the first to curse his name. If he comes back, she’s already
planning your engagement party. This friend is so blinded by
wanting to make you happy, she becomes an accomplice to bad dating
decisions because she can never see straight enough to help you see
the truth!
3. The girlfriend trapped in an unhappy or dysfunctional
relationship
Many times, your girlfriends subconsciously give advice that
validates their own current and past bad decisions, rather than
advice that actually helps you with the dilemma at hand. Here’s a
perfect example of how a friend blinded by her own current
relationship problems might give you bad advice: “Give him a second
chance! Every person deserves a second chance!” (This coming from a
woman who keeps taking back her cheating dog of a boyfriend.)
Beware of dating advice from people who can’t seem to get it right
themselves!
Many women have a girlfriend who seems to have the perfect life. She met her husband at the library, dated him for three months before having sex with him, got engaged exactly after a year of dating, and loves her mother-in-law. Now they have wild, passionate sex five times a week and their first baby was born potty trained. You try out the advice she gives you and it never seems to work. That is because she is lying! The best advice comes from girlfriends who have made mistakes in the past and learned from them — not the Photo-Shopped tales of Miss Perfect.
5. The girlfriend who says you can somehow “make”
something happen
Highly ambitious career women are used to making things happen —
negotiating contracts, closing deals, hitting the numbers. We don’t
let life happen to us. We make things happen. However,
when it comes to dating, you can have flat abs, beautiful calves,
perky breasts, shiny hair, an MBA degree with honors, and cook like
gourmet chef. None of these things will “make” a man want you or
love you if he does not. Channel your energy not on making things
happen but on making yourself happy.
Great dating is both an art and a science. You may have a good friend who loves you, but it’s important to consider the source, when listening to advice. That will show you the difference between advice that really works — and advice that’s merely someone’s very misguided opinion.
Kaneisha Grayson is a MBA and MPA student at Harvard. You can read more of her dating advice at her blog Kaneisha’s CrazyGirl Nation.
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