Because the Jen/Brad/Angelina saga will never die, there was a story up on MSNBC today called "Brad Pitt’s mom prefers Aniston to Jolie." In it, a "source" reveals, "Jane [Pitt's mom] has seen, first hand, how difficult Angelina is. She never comes to visit the family in Missouri and is always prickly on the rare occasions they have got together. Jennifer was the total opposite — charming, friendly and the perfect daughter-in-law. She always made time to be an active part of the family, whereas Angie just turns her nose up.”
Whether or not this is actually true, we'll never know. Though it does seem plausible, if only because Jennifer Aniston seems like the kind of girl who wants a person's mom to like her, and Angelina seems, well, not like that kind of girl.
That's not to say either type is bad. It's just that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is tricky and can be difficult to navigate, and the burden of keeping this connection peaceful and happy (sadly or not) usually falls on the son's wife.
I know I work on my relationship with my mother-in-law, I'm on my best behavior when I'm around her--I'm considerate, attentive, and thoughtful. I remember birthdays and holidays, send thank-you notes, call to check in, set up visits, and I help clean up after big family meals. I put more effort into this than I do with my own family, but that's because it's important to me to have things between us be pleasant and peaceful for many, many years to come. I respect her and, more, I respect my husband, and I don't ever want him to deal with the extra stress that a conflict between me and and his mother would cause. Whenever I see friends engage in really ugly arguments about their in-laws, I always think these are fights no one can win.
Is there something about this that's old-fashioned? Sexist? Icky in a wife-bot way? I don't know, but the nice, friendly Jen Aniston version of a daughter-in-law has always seemed to me like the smartest--not to mention the most polite--way to go.
How do you manage your mother-in-law?
