Love + Sex

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Four Signs That A First Date Is Going REALLY Well

Loyal readers of this blog know that I've been on my fair share of first dates, a much smaller number of second dates, and only one third date. Many of you have accused me of being too quick to close the door, and I see where you're coming from. But I'm a firm believer in holding out for the The Spark, and in my experience it's either there from the beginning or it's not (according to Erin, this is common among guys). So what does The Spark feel like? Well, there's no single definition, but here are four things I look for on a first date:

I'm trying WAY too hard to be cool. When it comes to first dates, I'm generally pretty relaxed. But if I'm really attracted to a girl my mind goes into overdrive and I start over-thinking everything. Am I chewing too loud? Does this pasta make my nose look big? And why the hell did I tell her that joke about the monkey and the transvestite?

I find potential flaws endearing. For someone who is frequently accused of being too picky, when I like a girl she can do no wrong. A few months ago I went out with a woman who was kinda quiet, and I had to work really hard to keep the conversation going. But for whatever reason I felt a spark between us, and so I thought her shyness was cute as all get out. But I've gone out with other women who didn't have much to say and found it kind of annoying. What can I say? When there's a spark I change from Jerry Seinfeld to Richard Simmons.

See our tips: 12 of the Worst Pickup Lines We’ve Ever Heard—and the One Pickup Line We Always Appreciate

I want to order dessert. Even when a date isn't working out, I always do my best not to rush things. But I draw the line at dessert--there's no need to waste the time and calories (Erin has a much different philosophy when it comes to dessert and dating). So when my sweet tooth starts aching I know that I'm hooked.

I'm listening to happy music on my way home. Is there a better feeling in the world than driving home after an awesome date and singing along to "Hooked On A Feeling" or "Love and Happiness". (I actually take the subway home, so I have to quietly hum along.)

What signs do you look for on a first date? How long do you wait for a spark? Can you remember your all-time favorite first date? What was it like? And what music do you listen to after an awesome date?

P.S. Real Women Tell Their Orgasm Secrets

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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 24
  • LB's Avatar
    Posted by LB Fri Jul 3, 2009 7:11am PDT

    I've been dating my guy for almost 8 months, and I still feel that spark! Just shows what being patient can accomplish! :)

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  • PEREZ's Avatar
    Posted by PEREZ Fri Jul 3, 2009 7:13am PDT

    luv at 1st sight is good but i hate it wen u go on a date wit a guy n all he tendz to do iz just think of da tym he'l jump on ua lips!!guyz ladies lyk 2 tek it slow so can u pliz take it easy.

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  • Cherish's Avatar
    Posted by Cherish Sat Jul 4, 2009 2:10pm PDT

    This makes me think about my dream kiss. You know the ones you see on tv or in the movies. I finally had one of those-magical and it wasn't on the first date.

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  • Suzanne's Avatar
    Posted by Suzanne Mon Jul 6, 2009 6:42am PDT

    The spark is a must. I met my husband 3 yrs ago in Reno. He just came out of the poker room after a bad beat and I was enjoying a glass of wine before deciding to go in and play. We ended up talking for hours, yes I invited him back to my place, but we have been inseperable ever since. I fall in love more and more the longer we are together.

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  • Bill's Avatar
    Posted by Bill Mon Jul 6, 2009 7:28am PDT

    1 Secret Your Readers will keep from you!

    I don't page through a list of items. Wastes too much time with loading java ad aps.

    I read down a list or I am gone.

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  • Karol's Avatar
    Posted by Karol Mon Jul 6, 2009 10:28am PDT

    for you ladies out there... i have one thing to add... just please read steve harvey's book "act like a lady - think like a man". it is a wonderful read and may help some single ladies identify what kind of man you are dating/dealing with/looking for...it truly works (i tried it myself). may peace be with you

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  • Chicka Bow Bow's Avatar
    Posted by Chicka Bow Bow Mon Jul 6, 2009 1:16pm PDT

    I hold out for the spark everytime! I don't have a particular type, and every guy I've had the "spark" for has been differen. There's just something you see in that someone and sometimes they can do no wrong :)

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  • Jason's Avatar
    Posted by Jason Mon Jul 6, 2009 9:13pm PDT

    Im in love with this lady that I've seen in the last year. the spark is there everytime I get around her. I've been there for her the whole time. clean her house, bought her things,and now that I've had to move.I can't stop thinking about her. I try calling her and textin her everyday still. To let her know that Im still here for her even though I moved. I had to move for a job, but still in love with her, and I Don't know what I should do? the sparks for her is there, like no other I've felt before. Can anyone give me any advice what to do?

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  • william's Avatar
    Posted by william Mon Jul 6, 2009 11:28pm PDT

    for me the sparks come after the closeness and the first kiss

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  • Jose's Avatar
    Posted by Jose Tue Jul 7, 2009 12:22am PDT

    :)

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