help...attracted to assholes!

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  Posted by Hien Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:51am PST

  omg i have tha same problem, everytime i start dating they turn out 2 be a total jerk!

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  Posted by qutie022000 Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:41pm PST

  I've always had that problem... I'm 41 now and married for almost 3 years to a guy that I dated in my 20's and he's not perfect, no one is, but to me he's the best thing that ever happened to me. For years I felt like I was walking around with an " a---- " magnet stuck to my forehead... but you're right, they do and say all of the right things until they know they've got you and then their true colors shine through... and by then you're stuck, at least until you decide to get rid of them.. it's really hard to know when you first meet someone. And these guys that are like that will manipulate you every single day until they have you no matter how long it takes them....

  But believe me, not all men are like that...

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  Posted by melissa Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:41pm PST

  ur not alone sweetie. I have the same problem.

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  Posted by Deb Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:07pm PST

  OHHHHH i am right there with you. I think i have i want jackass tattooed to my forehead. LOL serious.

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  Posted by Michelle Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:49pm PST

  I had that problem too......notice I said HAD. I used to love the good looking bad boys and know how I got over that? I met a good looking guy who was completely different from any guy I had dated before. He had a good job and was formerly in the military. I fell deeply in love. That relationship didn't work but I realized something.....I didn't know what type I would fall so in love with until I tried dating someone completely different.

  Now I am engaged to a guy who had a lot of the same qualities as that man before.....it just turned out I didn't really know what I wanted? I am so happy now it's amazing. No drama, no lying, just a great guy who treats me like a queen.....try dating a different type of guy. It works and you may be pleasently surprsed!

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  Posted by Debi Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:14am PST

  I agree with the previous person, but have something to add. I was just exactlly the same, always knew if there was an a---- within 80 miles, he would find me. But one time I took a step back, and looked at me. How I did things, Why I did things, What things I didn't like having done to me, Why did every reletionship suck. As it turned out, the common denominator was empathy and compassion. May sound strange, but I noticed the reasons I thought they were assholes was because they never once considered anybody else when doing, saying something, that may hurt, irritate, or just plain piss someone off. And I was the same way. I was in shock, cuz I always considered myself kind, considerate, what I realized was I was only like that when I wanted or needed something from someone. So I spent the next year or so, going over a list of traits that I would like, and traits I wouldn't, then I made sure that I didn't allow myself to get away with the things I had in the past, and didn't blame the other person I just said goodbye. So the point is know yourself!!!

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  Posted by eliSabeth Fri Dec 5, 2008 10:12am PST

  I used to have this problem...just like it says above...USED TO. I finally figured it out and had to step back. The guy was usually attractive that treated me like s**t after a while. He would be so cute, sweet, and just down right awesome. Then you see their real side. When things are too perfect, usually that means that they will hurt you. Not saying that all guys are like that, but that is from my experiences.

  I figured I needed to get smart and start taking things slow and not let infatuation make my decisions. To be honest, the guys who have treated me better are the guys who aren't as attractive, but they are so hot on the inside (b/c they know how to treat women and also can respect themselves at the same time). I also just had to realize that it's okay to date someone who isn't attractive (of course you have to be some what attracted to the person), but I am saying we all can't have mr. prince charming in the looks department! What I looked for in looks wasn't matching the person who I wanted personality wise and how they treated me! Plus, I stopped looking for relationships in general, I let them find me! I have discovered that it happens when you are least expecting it. Don't worry you will find someone right, just be patient and trust God!

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  Posted by Katie Mon Dec 15, 2008 7:04am PST

  i feel ya on this.. i have been with a boy for the past 8 months and i get nothing but cheated on and treated like a dog. my boyfriend slept with my sister tell me how that one went.. ha i hate him but at the same time i love him. i feel like i'm losing my mind he never wants to just hang out he always wants to be around people.. tell me how dumb i am to know he cheats on me and know he slept with my sister and let him hit me.. it's just something about him that won't let me let him go.. if you ever need someone to talk about boys with get at me.. i'm more ready to get someone that has the same problem as me and be ready to help them get away from assholes and let them help me..

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