Do the Sex Talk Prep Work
Step 1
Build up a sex talk vocabulary. Although graphic language
isn't actually necessary for effective sex talk, many people
find the raunchy stuff erotic. Poll your partner; come up with a
handful of erotic words that both of you consider sexy.
Step 2
Read erotica for ideas. Quality erotic stories practically drip
sex talk, so think of them as mini sex bibles. If the phrase turns
you or your partner on when you read it, chances are a similar
phrase will turn you on during sex.
Step 3
Relax. Of course, relaxation is essential to good sex, period.
Relaxation is especially important when you talk sex talk. You
don't want to feel self-conscious, or you won't enjoy it.
That will make your partner will feel self-conscious, too. Cuddle
up with your partner. Say what's on your mind. If you do
stammer, don't worry. Laugh and be glad you broke the ice.
Step 4
Pick your moment with sensitivity. What makes sex talk erotic
isn't the words themselves. It's all in the context. You
can blurt out a lurid phrase in the middle of your orgasm, or slip
in a few admiring words as you stroke your partner. There may be
certain times when your partner might find it especially erotic to
hear you say exactly what's on your mind. Ask and learn.
Step 5
Talk sexy by focusing on what's happening now. Tell your
partner what you want. Verbalize what you intend to do next. Say
how you're feeling. Ask your partner how this feels--and
this--and you get the idea. You can use dirty words, or you can
simply use normal, everyday words. For many couples, just speaking
aloud about an intimate act can up the heat level to white hot.
Step 6
Laugh. Sex and humor go hand in hand. Humor is one of the most
stimulating and intimate kinds of sex talk there is, even without a
single naughty word spoken. Needless to say, only nice humor
counts---avoid anything that could undermine your partner's
confidence.
How
to Talk Sex Talk originally published on Modernmom.com
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About the Author:
Terri Rocker, a writer of fiction since the 1980s, now writes Web
content for clients, does ghostwriting and runs a professional
critiquing business. She enjoys putting her degree in sociology to
work helping moms and dads turn their daily struggles with their
families, their own well-being and their environment into
triumphs
