Is running an official Background Check on a potential new partner just being paranoid?

Have you ever felt the urge to run an official Background Check on a potential new partner, yet declined it because you felt rather guilty about doing something like this behind their back? Have you ever found yourself actually feeling offended after learning that someone has just run a background check on you?

We’re living in a world today where too many times, people simply aren’t what they seem, especially amongst singles in the dating scene. There are a lot of good people being taken advantage of left and right these days because they’re giving their new partners and/or friends and acquaintances more trust than they’ve actually earned too quickly into their relationships. But sometimes when a person has been taken advantage of, it’s not always just them who suffer the consequences because sometimes such people have CHILDREN who can suffer just as much or more!

After separating from a thirteen year long relationship, I quickly found out how terrifying it can be to be freshly single and unaware of all the malicious games that many singles (BOTH genders) play. Without know any better, many newly single people find themselves targeted by vicious predators who are amazingly skilled, experienced and relentless in their tactics. So how is one to effectively protect themselves from all this negativity while making a genuine effort to seek out a quality relationship?

What does it really mean when someone runs an official Background Check on a potential new partner? Are they demonstrating paranoia, or are they demonstration a healthy degree self-respect and concern for their greater wellbeing of either themselves or their children if they happen to have them? Are they violating someone’s personal boundaries and disrespecting the privacy of those they’re checking up on?

What if you were to ask for your partner’s permission first while offering them an updated background check on yourself in return? Would that ultimately or conceptually be any different than requesting that you both have blood tests done to check for sexually transmitted diseases?

Me personally, I’ve come to rely upon my own intuition to discern a person’s character, motivations and sincerity good or bad, but hypothetically speaking, if a woman were to respond with hostility towards me after I’ve confided in her that I’ve ran a background check on her; is it possible that she’s just inadvertently admitted her incompatibilities with me regarding deeper issues within and of herself?

I think a common response by someone who disapproves of Background Checks would for them to label the person who ran the check as “Insecure”. But what does that really mean when someone invalidates your feelings and then labels you “Insecure”? Is it possible that they truly aren’t the least bit concerned with your feelings overall? If that happens to be true, would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who basically exhibits a complete lack of consideration and empathy for you? Just say’n,,,

So how does one justify running a Background Check on someone? It’s been my experience that those who do Background Checks tend to be a little older and have experienced their fair share of B.S. and disingenuous partners. But one can only withstand just so much of that before they find themselves withdrawing from dating altogether.

Ask yourself, why should one have to live alone just because bad people tend to dominate the singles scene?

Time after time of trying to judge a person’s sincerity and honesty can become very draining and I believe that Background Check can relieve a person from much of this negativity. I believe that going into a relationship with an eased conscience makes it easier to connect to someone who’s just as interested in establishing a quality relationship in return.

In my opinion, I believe Background Checks are nothing more than a demonstration of someone’s self-respect and level of responsibility as they’re looking out for the their best interests and/or the safety and security of their families. I believe that anyone who thinks otherwise is either hiding something, living in denial, or demonstrating that they’re completely unaware of just how toxic the dating scene can really be.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn