Love + Sex

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Rihanna and Chris: When first love goes bad

Image courtesy of the Examiner

Image courtesy of the Examiner

“He was definitely my first big love,” Rihanna tells Diane Sawyer about Chris Brown, the pop-singer’s ex-boyfriend who was arrested in February for beating her. Still, she admits, “The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other.”

The singer appears stronger but still shaken in her first in-depth interview after the incident, which left her bruised and bloody, and the subject of much public speculation.

She also tells Sawyer that seeing how much the young girls who look up to her were affected by her going back to Brown was  “a wake up call.” 

She has a new message for them: “I will say to any young girl who is going through domestic violence, don’t react off of love. F love. Come out of the situation and look at it third person for what it really is, and then make your decision, because love is so blind.”

In Rihanna’s case, love was particularly blind because Brown was her first love, giving her very little context to understand that his behavior was far from loving. Talking about her humiliation after the abuse was exposed, the singer admits, “That’s embarrassing. That’s the type of person I fell in love with... so far in love, so unconditional that I went back.”

Still, while she might be embarrassed by initially going back to the man that beat her, the singer has clearly done her research on abusive relationships, gaining perspective and resolve. When Sawyer reminds her that it takes a woman an average of seven tries to successfully leave an abuser, Rihanna is quick to point out. "Eight or nine, actually. And I don't want that to happen."

The interview airs in full on Friday on ABC’s 20/20.
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 69
  • sun2go's Avatar
    Posted by sun2go Thu Nov 5, 2009 3:08pm PST

    Love doesn't leave you black and blue, physically or emotionally. That's never love. It's something else.

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  • killer bitch's Avatar
    Posted by killer bitch Thu Nov 5, 2009 3:40pm PST

    wow I totally agree with you lamhome. I dont think she is really ready to say good bye. it seems like a self pity act. if i were her i would have beat the hell out that """""""SOB"""""". I hate a male who beat on us women. other women need to stick u for those who cant and make the men pay!!!!!!!!!

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  • Naye's Avatar
    Posted by Naye Thu Nov 5, 2009 4:08pm PST

    I think that everyone should take into consideration that EVERY WOMAN is not the same. Everyone doesn't do what "everyone else" would do in all situations...and just because she went back to him doesn't make her a bad person...there are just certain things that maybe she hasn't realized just yet...everyone isn't perfect and everyone above me i'm sure you haven't always made the best decisions either..we are all human.

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  • Naye's Avatar
    Posted by Naye Thu Nov 5, 2009 4:12pm PST

    Also, LAMHOME44 WHAT DOES HER HAIR HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING...ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT CAN'T GIVE DIRECT ANSWERS ON THE TOPIC...THE TOPIC HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER HAIR...LOL... f--- IN IDIOT. SHE'S STILL MAKING MONEY, SO PICK YOUR FACE UP, IM PRETTY SURE SHE'S NOT TOO CONCERNED ABOUT ANY OF YOU GUYS OR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE IS SHE WAS CONCERNED OF WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK ABOUT HER SHE WOULDN'T HAVE WENT BACK TO HIM...KICK ROCKS!

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  • Iamhome's Avatar
    Posted by Iamhome Thu Nov 5, 2009 5:00pm PST

    Hey Naye, few points...

    1) You're rude and disgusting.

    2) My opinion I can give freely, it's called free speech and that includes her crazy hair.

    3) All of Rihanna's money she can keep because I am not dropping my mouth open in awe of it but dropping my mouth open in the fact that she's all drama and that she was dumb enough to go back!

    4) Money can't buy the fact that I use common sense

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  • jAyJaY's Avatar
    Posted by jAyJaY Thu Nov 5, 2009 5:48pm PST

    Chris Brown doesn't really love you Rihanna because if you love someone you can't lay a hand on that person.

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  • jAyJaY's Avatar
    Posted by jAyJaY Thu Nov 5, 2009 5:56pm PST

    I agree with you Naye. I hope that Rihanna will realize it asap.

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  • Cherrydouglas1's Avatar
    Posted by Cherrydouglas1 Thu Nov 5, 2009 5:58pm PST

    wow s--- happens!!!! He who is without sin cast the first stone! PPL in glass houses should not throw stones. Look in the mirror then check your own closet; then read this story again and garanteed its a different view.

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  • Sandra's Avatar
    Posted by Sandra Thu Nov 5, 2009 6:02pm PST

    To lamhome:

    you are simply an idiot.yes you have the right to say what you want but seriously what does her hair have to do with anything?? and as for her new song once you actually listen to her lyrics its not about her being violent at all,,, shes simply talking about how love makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. i happen to love rihanna and i don't think shes trying to pull the "feel sorry for me" act at all! you can say you'd do this or that if something like that would happen to you. but until it actually happens to you, you probably shouldn't talk about it ;]

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  • Jennifer's Avatar
    Posted by Jennifer Thu Nov 5, 2009 6:13pm PST

    Lanhome, I think you should take into consideration that Rihanna is young and she has to go through this under a huge spotlight. There's millions of women who are or have gone through abuse but most of them are not famous, and most of them won't talk. I am happy that rihanna is doing this, it shows her strength to go up there and say "this is what happened. i made a mistake". At least she's facing this issue and even speaking out to young girls. As for her CD an song, I personally love the song and it's very deep. This is common for abused women to do. They go through an angry or dark phase because they're trying to forget and trying to make something out of the situation. If she came back with a song about rainbows I would be very worried. It would mean she's in denial and it's not a hardcore truth for her. But it is. And as for CD's, they all have labels and the artist's name on the cover. If parents don't want this CD or music on their child's iPOD they can simply not buy it or avoid the music after all. I don't think this is sending girl's a bad influence, it will make the girls who have gone through this relate. The song is perhaps about HOW she felt when the situation happened or BEFORE. What makes you think it's a relapse? Or a recent song of hers? She is an artist, that's what we do, we write about things from the past including feelings. This doesn't mean she still feels that way. If she didn't care about young girls she would not have sat down and said that. I feel she is very brave, and any girls that fall under abuse or influence, obviously that's not the media's or RiRi's fault, that comes from the root of parental advice and how bad girls are midguided now a days.

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