Frank Micelotta/Getty Images
Chris Brown ranked high on the list, which was awesome, because, sure he's a handsome dude, but you know what's not hot? Beating up your girlfriend. Another so-not-sexy quality is ripping people off a la Bernie Madoff, who also makes the top 5. Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri is guilty of the same crime. Joaquin Phoenix used to have a place in our hearts, but we're not feeling his latest makeover and deadbeat routine.
Brett Michaels--if you stopped dating skanks and removed your hair extensions we might cut you some slack, but not this time. John Mayer and Kanye West--you love yourselves a lot more than we do. Pete Wentz--guyliner is so 2004. Put down the flat iron and call it a day already! Chris Martin of Coldplay may make some great music, but his whole style bores us. (Sorry, Gwyneth! More for you, right?) Shia LaBeouf--for someone not even that famous yet, you sure cause a good amount of trouble. Quit your Kanye routine and eat a slice of humble pie. Lastly, regardless of John McCain's political views, we can't get that image out of our heads where he's coming after President Obama with his tongue out. Yuck!
Okay, now on to our faves who have no business being on this list. Like Robert Pattinson of "Twilight." People claim he smells bad, but I'll just wear a nose plug. So handsome. We also have a soft spot for greasy, snarky British comedian Russell Brand. While we still think the New Kids on the Block comeback is unbelievable, we give them props. They're back on the music charts and all looking good! (Well, except for Danny, who was always a little rough on the eyes, if we may say so.)
Common is by far one of hip-hop's smartest and best dressed men. Why he made the list is a mystery. We know people are hating on Jimmy Fallon for doing a mediocre job of filling Conan O'Brien's late night shoes, but he's cute and he's trying. Hugh Hefner is old and seems like a softie. He wears a robe all day, how can you hate on that? We heart Billy Corgan and Bruce Springsteen purely out of respect for aging rockstars. Um, are you really Matthew Broderick unsexy? Two words: Ferris Bueller. Clearly a fellow male nominated "Judd Apatow and Friends" for this list out of utter jealousy. They all are funny, smart, and totally adorable. (Paul Rudd particularly.) As for Christian Bale, well, his expletive-laced rant was totally screwed up, but man, is he a looker. Fantasy worthy even.
To see who made the #1 spot, check out the full list here. Let us know if you agree or disagree with our commentary. [The Phoenix]
