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Thursday, November 26, 2009

User post: The Father Daughter Wedding Dance: Can You Survive It?

In movies, the father/daughter dance always looks so beautiful: There are flashbacks and fuzzy camera work, everyone cries tears of joy. In reality though, it can be stressful, even if you don’t have a “complicated” family relationship. The truth is, most of us don’t have a lot of practice dancing with our dads, and a lot of dads don’t like to dance.

So, what's a girl to do? Here are OneWed's top five tips for surviving it with toes and egos intact!

1) Talk to your dad.

Find out how your dad feels about this. Maybe he wants to take some dance lessons, maybe he wants to practice ahead of time, maybe he wants to skip the whole thing. Knowing how he feels will help you make the rest of your decisions.

2) Pick the right song.


Most people, even if they don’t like to dance, can manage to sway in place for a few minutes if you pick a song with the right tempo. Talk to your wedding coordinator, or band leader for suggestions, or see below.

3) Keep it short


If you or your dad feels uncomfortable, you only have to dance alone for a few seconds, make sure the photographer takes pictures quickly, then have your groom ask his or your mother to dance. Let a few other relatives know that this is the signal to join in the dancing. This will take the focus off of you and dad.

4) Go ethnic


If you’re having traditional or ethnic dancing at your wedding, make sure you and your dad are standing near each other at some point, and have the photographer snap photos. There’s something about folk dancing that lets even the worst dancers shine. My dad can’t manage a simple waltz, but he can do the hora with the best of them!

5) Take it down a notch


As I said, my dad can’t dance, and he hates to dance, but he did want to dance with me at my wedding. So, we just didn’t make it a big deal. We agreed that instead of opening with or announcing a father/daughter dance, he would just pick a time and ask me to dance. It turns out that the time was “My Old Kentucky Home,” which was admittedly weird, but since I’m from Kentucky, strangely appropriate. I warned the photographer ahead of time that he would need to keep an eye out for this.

Here are the results of OneWed’s completely unscientific poll of the best (and worst) choices for father/daughter dances.

The Best

1) Sunrise/Sunset (Fiddler on the Roof)


2) Father and Daughter (Paul Simon)

3) Unforgettable (Natalie Cole/Nat King Cole)


4) Sunshine of My Life (Stevie Wonder)


5) My Girl (The Temptations)


6) Butterfly Kisses (Bob Carlisle)


7) Through the Years (Kenny Rogers)


8) The Way You Look Tonight (Frank Sinatra)


9) Ballerina Girl (Lionel Richie)


10) Daughter (Loudon Wainwright III)

The Worst

1) Father Figure (George Michael)


2) I Want to Be Sedated (The Ramones)


3) White Wedding (Billy Idol)


4) Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)


5) Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)

What are your suggestions?

A version of this article first appeared on OneWed, the largest online directory of local wedding vendors and home to the Savvy Scoop, a daily blog with inspiration for your wedding planning.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 13
  • SH07's Avatar
    Posted by SH07 Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:57pm PDT

    i loved her first is a good one

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  • Stephanie's Avatar
    Posted by Stephanie Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:54pm PDT

    Butterfly Kisses will probably be the song that all of my dad's girls dance to with him. It was a huge part of our lives growing up - Dad played it on the piano, we all had butterfly dresses at one point, and we "choreographed" several versions of dances for the song for Father's Days and birthdays throughout our younger years. After watching my sister's wedding, my best advice for a song would be to pick one that you share with your dad, even if it is not a particularly "suitable" one for the situation. It'll make it much more touching for the both of you - and for the entire reception, who will be able to see the emotion!

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  • j2's Avatar
    Posted by j2 Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:51pm PDT

    We danced a simple 2 step to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. We had all of about 30 seconds to practice the day before the wedding. She couldn't find a waltz that she really liked.

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  • Dubs's Avatar
    Posted by Dubs Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:16pm PDT

    "Sunrise Sunset" glad to see its #1. Very powerful. I have to agree with two of the Youtube posters...

    "The expressions on the people faces says it all!The old ppl thinking of "what once was" and the young thinking"what will come to be"!"

    Hah I laughed at this one...

    "Don't ever ask your parents to sing this at your wedding. We won't be able to as we will be crying to hard. This song is that good at expressing how we feel."

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLLEBAQLZ3Q

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  • Scott's wife's Avatar
    Posted by Scott's wife Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:33pm PDT

    does anybody know "Daddy's little girl"

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  • JennaC's Avatar
    Posted by JennaC Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:04pm PDT

    Does anyone have any suggestions for a substitute dance? My father has passed away, and instead of a very sad moment at my wedding I'd like to substitute something in. Any ideas welcome!!

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  • aries65's Avatar
    Posted by aries65 Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:03pm PDT

    i like BUTTERFLY KISSES and DANCE WITH MY FATHER.....I REALLY LOVE THAT SONGS......

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  • M's Avatar
    Posted by M Tue Jun 16, 2009 10:28pm PDT

    I LOVE MY DADDY, BUTTTTT...

    I dread the father/daughter wedding dance.. I dont know why, but the whole thing just seems really awkward.

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  • TheSquishyOne's Avatar
    Posted by TheSquishyOne Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:06pm PDT

    I dont get to have a father/daughter dance. My dad passed away 3 years ago, and going to weddings now is kind of painful for me. I usually have to have at least a couple of drinks in me before the daddy daughter dance to survive.

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  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:29pm PDT

    PJ turkey my dad passed away in 05 and when I got married in August there was no father/daughter dance no mother son dance just our first dance. It was special.

    I walked halfway down the aisle bymyself and my husband to be walked up the aisle as I was walking down. We met in the middle with huge smiles on our face and it was the best moments in our life. My wedding pics are on myspace. I had my dads picture in a frame next to the guest book. I promise there arent any akward moments and you will be fine.

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