Love + Sex
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Your Call: Do We Need Male Reproductive Rights?
user
Dear Em & Lo,
The way I see it, there is simply no such concept as
male reproductive rights. If your girl gets pregnant and wants
to keep the baby, congratulations, you're a dad! Pay up,
sucker. If you want to keep it but she wants to abort it, tough
luck -- there goes your progeny. The only thing a dude can do is
rubber up and screen for sexual partners with similar values. We
get it, the baby's growing in the woman's body, and
ownership is 9/10ths of the law. But come on, now. There's got
to be some kind of reasonable compromise. I don't have an easy
answer to this, and I doubt anyone else will either. Men will
continue to get a raw deal here. But could you open the topic to
discussion?
-- Cat Amongst the Pigeons
Consider it done! What do you think, do we need male reproductive
rights? And if so, what would they be? Let the debate begin (no
throwing things, please) in the comments section below. Or
join the debate already in progress (with some very opinionated
men) on
EMandLO.com.
MORE
FROM EM & LO:
photo of
seahorse -- the only male animal that gets knocked up -- by
cliff1066
Related: reproductive rights, reproduction, pregnancy, parenthood, emandlo.com, em and lo, em & lo
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Posted by Fanny Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:02pm PDT
Oh, boy, that's a tough one...there's always going to controversy over this. Well, if the man insists on making the woman carry the baby full term, he should be responsible for all of the babies living expenses. If she didn't even want the baby in the first place, he should probably just adopt it and she can be the one who never pays child support. Women have more power in this situation because they do most of the work and are held much more accountable for the childs well being and upbringing. If the man really wants all that on his plate, then by all means let him have his baby.
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Posted by Ahleah G Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:07pm PDT
I think if you are not interested in children you should make that clear to your partner before a pregnancy happens and assist as much as possible with preventing pregnancy. It would be so much easier if there was a birth control pill for guys (which is supposedly in the works) as well so they could take a more active role in preventing pregnancy (even if you use condoms, always good to have a backup method if you really don't want kids).
But you are right, you really have no say. I agree that it's unfair in some regards, like if you don't want a kid but she decides to go ahead with a pregnancy. But it is also unfair for a woman to be forced to carry a baby she doesn't really want to have. So just try as much as possible to be on the same page before you are actually faced with having to decide.
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Posted by Dolores (using my dad's e-mail) Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:08pm PDT
hmm, interesting. I am a girl, and I would say that they should get some rights, but hey women had no right for, oh i don't know, a few thousand years? and yes, in some countries if a lady wants to keep her kid, she would need to give it up because the "man" said so. I'm not going to get all femminist and equality on you though ha ha ha but i do think you make a good point, and I agree with you.
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Posted by Kikki Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:12pm PDT
Hey just lobby for the scientific community to get off their ass and make it possible for the man to carry the baby, hemroids and all. Then maybe we would get some reasonable maternity leave options, better health care and still have a shot at that promotion when we try to juggle family and work life.
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Posted by Vasilios Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:17pm PDT
Saddly everything he said is pretty much right. courts will never willingly let guys have any real say in a childs life unless the mother is convicingly unfit to be a mother. if i had a child and the mother decides to hate me, i'll really miss my kid. It really wouldn't matter what would happen, the most i'll get is visitation rights.
to all the other guys out there, make sure if you have a child the mother acctually wants a father for the child and not just a wallet.
my mom wanted a wallet for me and she never asked me if i'd rather have a father, so i ended up not having either.
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Posted by seashel88 Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:22pm PDT
Men do not and should not have any say in the matter. The man does not have to carry the baby; it is not a part of his body. It is completely a woman's choice.
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Posted by Fanny Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:29pm PDT
Okay, I've thought more about this, here's an idea that maybe some people can get on board with. It's not perfect, but if both people should come to an agreement about whether or not to keep the child and make it official in the presence of a lawyer. That way if one party decides to deviate from the agreement it would be a breach of contract and punishable by law. However if they cannot come to an agreement, I guess it should just default to the woman's decision, but she will be responsible for all expenses acoording to whatever she decides.
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Posted by Crystal Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:44pm PDT
Wear a condom and it wouldn't be an issue.
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Posted by Michelle Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:48pm PDT
Men do have reproductive rights.. They choose to have sex. They are exercising their reproductive rights.
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Posted by Colette B Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:56pm PDT
You know, this problem would almost go away if people would get to know each other and actually talk about prevention before the heat of the moment takes over. Jumping into bed with someone that you hardly know is not the answer. If you are mature enough to take your clothes off in front of someone, you are mature enough to have a conversation about prevention.
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